


Trust

by nightshade002



Series: the one with the spirits [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (Minor Characters that is), Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Fantasy, Fights, M/M, Magic, Possible Character Death, Spirits, because what else do you expect from me honestly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-04-13 22:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14122170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightshade002/pseuds/nightshade002
Summary: Issei had never expected everything to be fine. He doesn't expect things to be even remotely okay now that the war has started. But he at least expects to be able to count on Tooru, Takahiro, and Hajime when he needs them. He's hoping dearly that that doesn't have to change.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey what's up i'm back with part two (finally) and it'll be a Wild Ride so even though you're not, I hope you're ready

“Takahiro, you’re acting strange.”

“I’m not.”

“You are and-”

“I’m not!”

“Listen, I understand-”

“There’s nothing to understand.”

“Takahiro-”

“It’s nothing.”

“But-”

“We should get back to the others.”

Issei sighs as he watches Takahiro walk away. He knows he’s not going to be able to force Takahiro to talk to him if he really doesn’t want to. He hadn’t been expecting much in the first place if he’s honest with himself, but he thought that maybe if they were alone Takahiro would talk. 

“Takahiro?” Issei calls after him. He’s got one last thing to try and if that doesn’t work, he’ll have nothing left.

“If this is still about you thinking I’m acting weird, I don’t want to hear about it,” Takahiro answers coldly. Issei is honestly taken aback at his tone. Takahiro has _never_ used that tone with him before.

“It’s just… Tooru’s worried, too. You know that we care about you and if there’s something wrong, we want to know.” Issei feels terrible for pulling that card. They all know Tooru is under a lot of stress right now and the last thing Takahiro or Issei or even Hajime wants to do is add to that, and by saying what he did, Issei implied that Takahiro _is_ adding to that.

“I’ll talk to him,” Takahiro replies, voice softening. “Listen, I’m sorry if it seems like I’m acting differently. It’s probably just stress from everything going on, but I promise I’m fine.”

Issei smiles, stepping closer to kiss Takahiro right on the corner of his mouth. “I love you, by the way.”

Takahiro hesitates, just slightly, not enough that anyone else would have noticed, but Issei _does_. “I love you too.”

Issei is glad his mask covers up most of his face because he’s not sure he could keep the concerned expression off his face without it. “We should get back now.”

Takahiro nods. “Right.”

\--

Hajime thinks it’s strange. The first few times he’d seen Takahiro, he had been in his fox form at some point. Recently, though, he hasn’t seen him as a fox. Not for a few days at least. According to Tooru, Takahiro prefers the fox form to the human form, especially for travelling purposes, which makes it even more strange.

“What’s on your mind?” Issei asks, dropping down to sit next to him.

Hajime shrugs. “Nothing much. Does… does Takahiro seem different to you?”

Issei stares at him for a second before looking over at Takahiro. Takahiro’s sitting with Tooru on the other side of the clearing, hopefully out of hearing range, but probably not. He’s playing with Tooru’s still burned hands carefully so as not to hurt them more.

“Sorry-” Hajime starts, turning his attention back to Issei

Issei shakes his head. “Don’t be. I agree with you. He does seem different. I can’t figure out what it is, though. He says it’s from the stress of being at war with other spirits, but I’m not sure that’s fully true.”

“You talked to him about it?” Hajime asks in surprise. He hadn’t expected that. He’d just thought that everything he’s been seeing is in his head. Issei nods.

“Tooru thought he was acting differently, so he asked me to talk to him about it a few days ago. I think Takahiro thinks there’s nothing wrong and I’m pretty sure he’s convinced Tooru of that by now, too. I’m just worried that this will spiral out of control.”

“Do you really think he’s got Tooru convinced?” Hajime asks. “From what I can tell, he can read the both of you like books.”

There’s a commotion on the other side of the clearing. Where Tooru and Takahiro are sitting. Hajime is immediately on edge, worried that they might be under attack. When he finally sees what’s going on, though, he’s even more concerned than he would be about an attack. Tooru is roughly pulling his hands away from Takahiro and storming away.

“I’ll talk to Takahiro this time,” Hajime says, standing up and offering Issei his hand. “If that’s alright with you, that is.”

“Fine by me. Maybe he’ll talk to you about whatever is actually bothering him,” Issei responds, accepting Hajime’s offer to pull him up.

“We can only hope,” he says. “Do you think… do you think Takahiro hates me?” 

“Why would you say that?” Issei asks.

Hajime shrugs. “I just… feel like he’s really short with me, especially in the past few days.”

“It must be the stress. There’s no way that Takahiro hates you.”

Hajime nods. He’s not completely convinced, but it’ll have to do for now. He hurries after Takahiro, leaving Issei to find Tooru.

He finds Takahiro sitting by the edge of a pond, staring at his mask. “Go away Hajime.”

Hajime shakes his head. “What happened with you and Tooru?” Takahiro shrugs as Hajime sits down next to him. 

“It was just a little argument. Nothing much.”

He wants to reach out to Takahiro. To comfort him. He’s not sure if he can, though. If Takahiro will let him. “Can I help with anything?”

“It’ll sound harsh and you’ll probably take it the wrong way,” Takahiro starts, pausing to allow Hajime the chance to change his mind about hearing what he’s about to say. When Hajime doesn’t react, he continues, “I think you should leave. You can cross the border, we know that already. Leave. Come back in a few years or so. That should be long enough for the war to finish.”

Hajime stares at Takahiro. “You want me to-” he says, mouth going dry.

“Leave. You don’t know how to do anything that will help in this war. The best thing you could do is leave so that Tooru doesn’t have to worry about you. It’s harsh, yeah, but it’s true.”

Hajime just continues to stare at him. “This is what your argument with Tooru was about?” he guesses.

Takahiro nods. “He won’t listen to me, but you understand, right?”

Hajime thinks about it. Takahiro isn’t necessarily wrong, but Hajime isn’t going to just leave all the spirits to die. “I understand, but I won’t do it.”

“You don’t. You don’t understand. If you did, you would leave. Hajime, please,” Takahiro pleads and his tone of voice alone is enough for Hajime to reconsider. “I’m trying to save your life.” Takahiro stands and presses a soft kiss to the top of Hajime’s head. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he adds, so quietly that Hajime almost misses it. Takahiro puts his mask pack in place and walks away.

\--

Tooru _thought_ he had known stress while he was worrying about things like Hajime possibly dying and fucking up the balance in the forest. That’s nothing compared to the spirits fighting against him, actively trying to fuck up the balance. He’s glad he has Issei, Takahiro, and Hajime with him. He’s honestly not sure if he could win this war without them.

“Tooru, you should really take a break,” Hajime says from behind him, startling Tooru out of his thoughts. Tooru’s not entirely sure how. He should at least be aware of Hajime’s presence. “You can’t anticipate everything they do.”

“No,” Tooru agrees, keeping his eyes glued to the map he had made in the ground, “but they can anticipate everything _I_ do. I need to know how. I’ve looked over this time and time again, but even when I did something completely against every strategy I use, they were there.”

“Working with no breaks won’t change that, Tooru.”

“I don’t need a break. I’m fine.”

“At least take a break from looking at that. I know you won’t rest, but do something else. Please. You’re not going to be able to see anything new if you just stare at that.”

Tooru sighs and stands. He clears the map away. “Come with me.”

“Wh-”

“Well, you’ve gotta learn to control your magic at some point, right?”


	2. Chapter 2

“Issei, I’m worried,” Tooru says in lieu of a greeting. He would like to talk to Takahiro and Hajime as well, but Takahiro’s been a little too much for him to handle recently and he can’t talk to Hajime and Issei but not Takahiro.

“What about?”

Tooru sighs. This isn’t a topic he wants to talk about at all. It’s not something he wants to even think about. “We’re losing,” he says simply. He’s not sure if he wants Issei to say anything, maybe lie and say that they’re not, but Issei simply remains silent. “I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t prepared for a war like this.”

“No one could have been,” Issei assured him. “You’re doing what you can to at least keep us all alive.”

“I’m not doing everything I can,” Tooru murmurs. “I haven’t met with the other leader yet. I think I should soon. We don’t know what they want, maybe-”

“Tooru,” Issei stops him, “they want you dead. They want control over the forest and the only way that’ll happen is if you die.”

“I…” Tooru pauses, the words stuck in his throat, “I know that, but I need to think beyond myself. If all these spirits are going to die, I need to do something. I can’t just sit here and let it happen.”

“They’re fighting because they want to, Tooru. They’re fighting because they believe you won’t give up. They’re fighting because they believe in you.”

“I’m not saying that I’m going to completely give up, but I need to at least try to talk to them. Maybe we can come to some sort of agreement,” Tooru says. He knows it’s not likely. He knows there’s almost no hope for him. He knows, but he still has to try.

“I can’t change your mind on this? What if they attack you during the meeting?”

“We’re strong enough to hold them off for at least long enough for us to run away. If worst comes to worst, I can stop them all for at least a few seconds if you can carry me out. Maybe longer if Hajime comes, too, but I think it’s best we keep Hajime away from them. Who knows what they’ll do if they find out there’s another guardian spirit of the forest,” Tooru sighs. He’s not even certain that they don’t know of Hajime’s presence, but he’s not going to go out of his way to tell them that Hajime exists.

Issei closes his eyes and Tooru knows he wants to argue. It’s fair, he thinks, but he also knows that he won’t back down and Issei likely knows that too. “It won’t come to that, okay? We can figure out other escape plans if they try to kill you, but you won’t need to stop them by controlling them. It’ll end badly. You’ll be out of energy for a while and they’ll be angry.”

Tooru nods. “You’re right, I just…”

“We’ll figure something out.”

\--

Issei’s breathing hard, holding his side with one hand. They’ve just barely survived through another ambush. It hasn’t been long since the last one and he has a sinking feeling that someone in their army is a spy. He’s just not sure who.

“Issei, Issei are you alright?” Tooru asks, carefully moving Issei’s hand. Issei winces when he sees the four parallel wounds his hand had been partially covering up.

“Go heal the others first,” Issei says, pushing Tooru away. “They need you more than I do right now.”

Tooru closes his eyes and nods and Issei can almost feel the frustration, can see the hurt that Tooru is feeling.

“I know it’s probably a lot to ask, but can you find Hajime? I’d ask Takahiro because he’s not injured, but I can’t find him and Hajime hasn’t learned how to deal with the pain from so many injured spirits yet.”

Issei nods and Tooru moves on. It takes Issei a few seconds to be able to stand, but when he does, he makes his way over to the little tent that Tooru, Hajime, Takahiro, and he had been sharing. It’s not much, but it allows them privacy when needed. Hajime is, as expected, laying on the ground in the tent unconscious but crying. What Issei didn’t expect was Takahiro sitting with him, but here he is.

“Issei, you’re-” Takahiro starts, but Issei waves him off.

“I’m more concerned about Hajime. How is he?”

Takahiro shrugs. “Just the same as every other time. I can’t help but feel we should-”

Issei shakes his head. “We’re not sending him away. Who knows what could happen? He helps in ways other than the battlefield. Surely you see that.”

“He was human mere months ago. He’s not suited for a war between the spirits. It could scar him.”

“Takahiro, _I’m_ not suited for a war between the spirits. I hate violence, you know that. But I’m willing to protect Tooru in anyway I can. Hajime is the same way. He may not be able to battle alongside of us, but he’s the only one who’s been able to get Tooru to take a break from staring at that map of his.”

“You and he are different. At least you can fight. All Hajime can do during battles is lay here on the ground. It’s painfully clear that this is too much for him. He doesn’t belong here, Issei. We both know it. Everyone knows it.”

Issei’s breath catches in his throat. “He does belong here. He’s not human, Takahiro. He can’t leave.”

“ _Yes_ he can. We saw it. It would be better for him and for us.”

“No it wouldn’t. He might not know how to fully use his magic yet, but how is he going to learn if we push him away?”

Hajime groans, effectively ending their argument and it’s at that point that Issei realizes it _was_ and argument. “-sei?”

Issei smiles and kneels down next to him. “How’re you feeling?”

“You’re hurt,” Hajime says in response, reaching for his side.

“I’ll live,” Issei responds. “A lot of other spirits need Tooru’s help first.”

Hajime struggles to push himself up. “You need help too.”

Takahiro stands and helps steady Hajime. “I’m going to see what help Tooru needs,” he says and leaves before either of them can respond. Hajime frowns after him.

“You should lay back down.”

Hajime shakes his head. “You need help.” He reaches forward to pull Issei’s hand away from his side. Issei winces when Hajime’s hand skims over the wounds. He expects to feel more pain, but he’s pleasantly surprised to find the pain receding.

“Tooru showed me how,” Hajime explains. “I can’t do it when there’s so much overwhelming me, but now that Tooru’s helped out I can… I can do more.”

“I won’t be able to stop you, will I?’

Hajime shakes his head. “Help me stand?” Issei stands and pulls Hajime up. “Thanks.”

They go around and tend to the wounded. Issei is surprised by how quickly Hajime can heal the others. There aren’t many spirits with healing capabilities other than Tooru, so Issei doesn’t really have a large frame of reference, but it seems to him that Hajime is faster and more effective than the others. He makes a mental note to tell Takahiro this the next time he says that Hajime should leave.

_Has Takahiro inisting that Hajime should leave become such a normal thing that he feels the need to plan ahead for it?_

Issei shakes his head and focuses on helping Hajime and Tooru and the rest of their army.

“Hajime, you should still be resting,” Tooru says, coming up behind them when they’re nearly finished.

“I’m fine,” Hajime says dismissively. “I can help them.”

Tooru purses his lips and Issei silently thanks the fact that they’re in public and Tooru won’t want to make a scene. “We can talk when we’re done.”

Hajime and Issei both nod and Tooru stalks off.

“You shouldn’t push him,” Shigeru says from below them. Issei had honestly forgotten that he was there.

“And you shouldn’t be so reckless in battle,” Hajime retorts, kneeling down next to him, “but that won’t stop you.”

Shigeru shrugs. “I’ll always have you or Tooru or one of the other healers to fix me up.”

“We can’t fix you if you’re dead.”

“You’ve died before,” Shigeru points out.

“I only died once and I was human then. Neither you or I have that luxury now.”

Shigeru rolls his eyes. “I’ll try to be more careful next time, okay?”

“Whatever you say.”

Hajime and Issei move on to the last few of the wounded before making their way back to their shared tent. Takahiro and Tooru enter not long after.

“Hajime,” Tooru starts, taking off his mask. The rest follow suit. “If I tell you to rest, you should rest. I don’t care if you think you’re fine, you can’t disobey a direct order.”

“Tooru-” Hajime tries to protest.

“I can’t afford to have anyone think I’m either favoring you or that I don’t mean it when I give an order.”

Hajime looks frustrated, but he nods. Takahiro scoffs and Issei is instantly on edge. It’s clear to see what’s coming, but he can’t stop it.

“Is there anything you’d like to add, Takahiro?” Tooru asks, voice somewhat resigned.

“I think-”

“Anything _new_?” Hajime interrupts. “We all know you want me to leave, so if that’s what this is, I think we already know.”

“Hajime,” Issei warns lowly, but it’s no use. Takahiro’s already started talking.

“It’s for your own safety! Why can’t you just understand and listen to me? This is a war between spirits, Hajime. You-”

“Stop! Both of you!” Tooru yells. Issei really hopes he remembered to soundproof the tent. “I can’t have you both arguing so much. We’re lucky that the rest of them haven’t overheard anything yet. I understand you’re concerned, Takahiro, but Hajime has made it clear that he wants to be here.”

“I just-”

Tooru shakes his head. “I don’t want to hear any more of this. Hajime is staying with us if that is what he wishes.”

“What do you think, Issei?” Takahiro asks him.

Issei starts. He hadn’t been expecting to be brought into this conversation. “I think it should be Hajime’s decision. It’s his life he’s risking, afterall.”

“That’s it?”

Issei thinks back to the one moment of peace they had had. He wishes they could go back to that moment, before Kentarou brought Shigeru to them. Before the war had officially started. He really just wants them all to get along again. He nods and sees _something_ flash across Takahiro’s face before it settles into irritation.

“I’m going for a walk,” Takahiro says bitterly, picking up his mask and walking out of the tent after securing it back on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh I know it's two days late but i really like this chapter

Hajime tries very hard not to walk away when he sees Takahiro coming towards him, but he really isn’t in the mood for an argument at the moment. He hopes it looks natural, but it probably doesn’t. 

“Hajime, wait up!” Takahiro calls out to him and Hajime closes his eyes and sighs, but he stops. Takahiro slings his arm around Hajime’s shoulders. “Can we go for a walk?”

“Sure,” Hajime responds simply. He’s on edge, though. All Takahiro seems to want to talk about recently is him leaving. “Is it really the best idea, though? I mean-”

Takahiro shrugs. “We’ll be fine. We’re pretty well hidden here, aren’t we? It’ll be fine if we just go a short way.”

Hajime reluctantly agrees, following Takahiro away from the rest of the camp. He’s led to a small clearing. “You know this forest well,” he remarks quietly.

“I’ve been here for a long time,” Takahiro murmurs. “I know it, but not as well as Tooru does. Not as well as you will.”

“What does that mean?” Hajime asks, sitting on the ground. 

Takahiro sits next to him. “You’re a guardian spirit. Eventually you’ll be able to find your way around the forest with your eyes closed. And that won’t even be the limit of your powers.”

“So why do you keep trying to send me away?” Hajime asks. Takahiro’s behavior has been strange to him, but this is probably the most strange. After _however long_ of Takahiro telling him he should leave because of everything, the uplifting tone of voice he’s using is weird.

“I want you to be able to live to see it. I want to protect you,” Takahiro answers, lifting a hand up to brush along Hajime’s cheek, dislodging his mask a little. He drops his hand before continuing, “But that’s not why we’re here. I wanted to apologize. Tooru and Issei have been talking to me and I haven’t wanted to listen because I’m stubborn, but… you don’t need me to tell you that it’s dangerous.”

Hajime stares at Takahiro with wide eyes. Out of all the things he had been expecting, this isn’t it.

“I still think you shouldn’t be a part of this war. It’s really not your war. But I need you to know that I’ll protect you, okay? And I’ll… I’ll support you with this. It’s your choice.”

“You still don’t agree with this,” Hajime states. It’s not really a question and he doesn’t phrase it as one. Takahiro shakes his head. “Are we going to argue about it again?”

“I would like it if we didn’t,” Takahiro says. He sighs and looks away from Hajime. “I’m just… I’m bad with new people and I know that’s not an excuse, but-”

Hajime doesn’t have time to react as an arrow of light flies through the air and pierces Takahiro’s leg, pinning it to the ground. Takahiro _screams_ and Hajime gets dizzy. “T-taka! We need to-”

“Iwa,” Takahiro gasps, pushing him away, “run.” Takahiro does something to the arrow that makes it shatter and stands up. “I can hold them off, go get help.”

Hajime nods and starts running for the camp. He’s… actually he’s not entirely sure he’s going the right way. He finds out he’s going the wrong way by running into a spirit. Literally. He backs up and is about to run in the opposite direction when he runs into another one. Two more come out from behind the trees, then another two and he’s surrounded.

“Is this the one?” one of them asks. Another one nods.

Hajime’s eyes dart around, trying to find a way out. He doesn’t get a chance to run or do anything before a fist collides with his face. He stumbles a little, but manages to keep standing. Immediately, he starts healing himself. It’s all he can do. He doesn’t know how to fight. After a few punches, he finally falls. His mask is jostled when his head hits the ground.

“Shouldn’t he be out by now? Thought he was weak,” one of them says.

“Use the thing we were given. He _is_ a guardian, isn’t he?”

There’s an opening Hajime can see. He might be able to get away while they’re talking. He starts to push himself up, but he’s shoved back down roughly. His mask falls off this time from the force of hitting the ground and bouncing back up.

He’s picked up and held with his back against one of the spirits. The spirit’s grip is tight and even with Hajime’s squirming and struggling, it doesn’t loosen. Another spirit holds his head in place and forces his mouth open while a third pours something into his mouth. He tries to spit it out, but his head is tipped back and he can’t.

His whole body relaxes and despite his best effort, he can’t make anything move. His vision goes hazy and his eyes drop shut.

\--

“Issei, do you know where Hajime and Takahiro are?” Tooru asks frantically. 

Issei is instantly on guard. He tries to think, but he isn’t sure. “I’ll help you find them. What’s going on?”

“Takahiro’s hurt and I can’t find him or Hajime. I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s not good.”

“Can’t you find them with magic?” he asks, following Tooru.

“I… Hajime’s different and I can’t pinpoint him. Especially if he’s not hurt. And Takahiro… I haven’t been able to find him with my magic recently. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Oh,” Issei says. Because he doesn’t know what else to say. Tooru should be able to tell where Takahiro is.

“Takahiro!” someone yells. Tooru and Issei immediately start running over to the source of the noise. 

They’re stopped short by the spirit accompanying him with a sword at his throat. Takahiro’s bloodied and beat up. His leg is bleeding and there’s a cut above his eye that isn’t bleeding anymore, but there is blood smeared around it. “No one move if you want him to live.”

“What do you want?” Tooru asks. There’s no trace of the panic he’s no doubt feeling in his voice.

“Just a meeting,” the spirit smiles crookedly. “That’s all.”

“And you couldn’t have asked normally?”

“Do you agree to it or not?”

“How long do I have to give an answer?” Tooru asks.

“I’d prefer one now.”

Tooru sighs quietly. “When would this meeting be?”

“Three days from now at noon by the lake.”

“I’ll be there. I hope you don’t expect me to come alone.”

“I would never expect you to be able to do anything alone,” the spirit sneers, shoving Takahiro to the ground before leaving. Tooru’s left hand clenches into a fist and Issei knows that even though he’s calm on the outside, Tooru is furious. He’s furious _for_ Tooru. 

No one moves until the spirit is gone. One of the healer spirits rushes to Takahiro and immediately gets to work. Issei puts his hand on Tooru’s shoulder, but Tooru shakes him off and moves to Takahiro’s side.

“What happened?” Tooru asks.

“I… I took Hajime for a short walk, just a little way away from camp, and we were ambushed,” Takahiro answers, not looking up from the ground. He’s blaming himself and Issei wishes he could do something here, but it’s too public.

“Where’s Hajime?”

“I… he’s not…” Takahiro trails off, “he’s not here?”

Tooru shakes his head. “Issei-” he starts, but Issei has already shifted into his animal form. Tooru gives him a small, grateful smile. It’s partly an apology for shaking him off earlier. Issei runs through the forest. He’s pretty sure he knows where Takahiro and Hajime went. It’s one of Takahiro’s favorite places in the forest. He knows he’s right when he picks up their scent. Takahiro’s blood staining the grass is a good indicator, too.

Hajime’s scent goes a little farther away from the clearing and he picks up at least four, maybe six, different scents along with it. Issei shifts out of his animal form and searches around the area for any clues as to what happened. He knows that Hajime is long gone already. 

Something on the ground catches his eye. There’s some dirt and leaves covering it, but it’s clear what it is. Issei reaches down to pick it up. Hajime’s mask.

“Issei, have you found anything?” Tooru calls. Issei makes a split second decision. He shoves the mask into his yukata.

“No,” he answers, “nothing.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh sorry i know there was a bit of an unexpected break but school, yknow
> 
> updates should continue every other tuesday after this

Hajime is cold and alone when he wakes up and his face feels weird. For a few seconds, he forgets everything that had happened and wonders where Issei or Takahiro is. Tooru never sleeps with them. To be fair, none of them actually need to sleep every night, but it is nice because it helps them heal faster and their magic replenishes faster.

“I don’t understand how you could fucking _lose_ the mask.”

“Listen, we got him _here_. He was unconscious the whole time. That was hard enough. If you want the mask, make someone else do it.”

Hajime opens his eyes, realizing that they were talking about him. He doesn’t entirely know what’s going on. His arms are tied behind his back and he’s sitting against a tree. One of the two spirits that had been speaking is walking away.

“Awake?” the remaining spirit asks. Hajime’s eyes snap up to her face. He’s sure the fear is evident on his face. “What’s your given name?”

“Tell me yours first,” Hajime responds, hopefully keeping his voice somewhat steady. He can’t really do anything if he gets her name. He doesn’t know that kind of magic yet. Hopefully she doesn’t know that.

She smiles, leaning down so there was barely any space between her face and his. “It wouldn’t matter right now if I did,” she says knowingly, “you can’t do anything.”

“Then what’s the harm in telling me?” Hajime shoots back.

She throws her head back in a laugh. “If I told you now, you’d remember it. Either when you get your mask back and you can use magic again or when you see Tooru again. That’s the harm in telling you now. You, however,” she hummed, “you don’t have a choice.”

“I’m not going to tell you.”

She ran her fingers through his hair and he tried to twist away. All that happened, though, was her grip tightening and pulling his head back painfully. “You will. It doesn’t matter anyway, not really. There are so many, _many_ things we can do to you without your name.”

\--

Tooru can’t tell if he’s more angry or afraid. 

Hajime was taken right from under his nose. And Tooru could do nothing about it. He hadn’t even realized there were any unfamiliar spirits near them. He should have been able to do something. _Maybe he should have listened to Takahiro._ Maybe he should have sent Hajime away at the first sign of this war. Not that Hajime would have listened to him. He could have made him listen. Tooru did have some power over him. He could have prevented this.

That’s not even the only problem Tooru has. Issei had lied to him. He can’t imagine why. Issei cares for Hajime as Tooru does. Or at least that’s what Tooru thought. But Issei had told him that he hadn’t found anything that would lead them to Hajime. And it was a _lie_. In all the years that Tooru has known Issei, he had never once lied. 

“Tooru.”

“I want to be alone right now, Takahiro,” he responds quietly. They both know that he’s not exactly telling Takahiro to leave, so he sits down next to Tooru.

“I’m sorry. I should have been able to protect him and I failed. I’m sorry.”

Tooru shrugged. “Nothing to be done about it now. I suppose all we can do is hope that we can meet whatever demands they have to get Hajime back.”

Takahiro nodded.

“Did you know this would happen?” Tooru asks, finally looking up, but only to gauge Takahiro’s reaction. Takahiro bites his lip. “Don’t lie. Please. I don’t know who I can trust right now if I can’t trust you and Issei to tell me the truth.”

“I had a feeling that something bad would happen to him. He would be a target because he’s a guardian as well. And he’s so inexperienced that he would be easy to attack if he were ever away from the center of camp.”

Tooru has to bite back his next question. It’s the irrational side of him. The side from before he learned to trust, before he had anyone else’s trust. The side he tries to bury as much as he can. _Is that why you led him there?_

“I guess I just wasn’t thinking. I didn’t think they’d do something like this right after a larger attack,” Takahiro continues, not even noticing the question that almost slipped out of Tooru’s mouth.

Tooru sighs and gives Takahiro the best smile he can manage. It’s not great, but he did try. “It’s not like you could have known they would do that, right?”

Takahiro smiles back and it’s just as bad as Tooru’s attempt. “Right.”

\--

Issei fucked up. Bad. He had nearly forgotten that Tooru can tell when he lies. So Tooru knows he lied and he knows that Tooru knows. But he can’t do anything about it. Tooru is avoiding him. He’s being subtle about it, but he knows Tooru and he knows when Tooru is avoiding him. 

“I’m sorry,” he leads with when he finally gets Tooru all to himself. “I can’t tell you what I found, but I’m sorry.”

He can’t see it, but he knows that Tooru narrows his eyes at him. He’s earned it, but it still stings. He had worked so hard to gain Tooru’s trust. Tooru had been the one to turn him into a corporeal spirit. He has always been loyal to Tooru. “You lied to me.”

Issei nods. “I did.”

“But you can’t tell me the truth.”

He nods again.

“Do I get to know why?” Tooru asks, voice scathing. “You’ve never lied to me before. Why now?”

Issei looks at the ground. “I found something and I still have it. You’ve got deniability about this thing for now and I think it’s better that it stays that way. I’ll tell you about it after the meeting at the lake. They don’t care about me, so they’ll overlook me.”

“They cared about Hajime,” Tooru shoots back. “How do you know they’ll overlook you, too?”

“He’s a guardian,” Issei responds simply. “I’m just a normal spirit to them.”

“But you-”

“It’s an added bonus that Hajime is close to you. I’d be willing to bet that they took him first and foremost to see if he is actually a guardian. I’d also say that they’ll try to convince him that they’re right. They want him on their side. It won’t work, but I think they’ll try.”

Tooru’s goes silent in the way that Issei knows he’s thinking hard about Issei’s words. He’s gotten so used to reading Tooru over the years that he may as well be talking out loud.

“Wait…” _That’s not good_. “How would they know what Hajime is?” Tooru asks slowly, looking up at Issei with genuine fear in his eyes.

Issei pales as he remembers his previous thoughts. His fears. “I think… there might be…”

Tooru and Issei make eye contact, finishing Issei’s thought in the same way. “We need to get Hajime back.”

“We?” Issei asks hopefully.

Tooru nods. “We.”

\--

Hajime is fairly certain he’ll never drink anything ever again. He doesn’t need to and after this, he’ll likely be reminded of pain every time. Potion after potion has been forced into him, despite his best efforts to resist.

Most of them just give him immense pain, but some of them honestly haven’t been all that bad. He is the most wary of those ones. Occasionally, he can’t remember what happened after he takes the painless ones. He doesn’t know if he’s let his given name slip yet. He’s pretty sure he hasn’t, but he has no idea. If he’s honest, he can’t exactly tell what has happened the entire time he’s been here.

He doesn’t even know how long he’s been here. At least a day. Maybe two.

He wants to leave.

He wants to go home.

Someone’s coming up to him again. He doesn’t… he doesn’t want… 

The ground is exploding. He really isn’t sure if it’s real this time or not. Some of the potions have made him see things. He doesn’t know if this is because of that, but now he’s in the air and things are glowing. No, this is _real_. He doesn’t really know what’s happening, but it’s real. Spirits are running. From him?

_What’s going on?_

He looks down at his arms and sees them bare. It’s strange and he can’t think why at first, the potions still muddling his brain.

Wait.

The vines. There should be vines wrapped around his arms. Where are they?

He looks down farther and he sees. In the ground. They’re in the ground. That’s why he’s in the air. There are spirits trying to crawl up the vines towards him. He doesn’t want that. He wants to be alone. The spirits are flung away. He doesn’t… he doesn’t want to hurt anyone though.

 _He can’t have both_.

“Everyone give him space! We don’t know what we’re dealing with here!” someone yells from below him. He looks and it’s the first spirit that had spoken to him once he had arrived. He appreciates it. He hates her, but he appreciates it.

Where is Tooru? _The other side of the forest._

Where is Issei? _Close to Tooru._

Where is Takahiro? _Close to Tooru and Issei. Right here with him._

Wait… What? That can’t be right. But he feels so sure about it.

The potions. Right. That must be what it is. He had forgotten about the potions. That has to be what’s affecting his magic. It can’t be anything else. Takahiro can’t be in two places at once.

In his distraction, one of the other spirits, an owl, had gotten close to him. In midair, after she was above him, she changed forms, dropping on top of him. He was so surprised that all of the magic he had been using stopped working. The vines snapped back onto his body and it was nearly painful. The pain from the vines was overridden by the pain from the fall.

“Get him sedated again. Everything in his system was flushed out.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to update this last night but i fell asleep in the middle of writing the rest of it

Takahiro really, _really_ wishes it hadn’t come to this. He had tried so hard to get Hajime out, away from all this. He knew that this would happen. _He knew_. But he couldn’t do anything. He still can’t.

Takahiro misses his fox form.

“Tooru, we’ll…” he swallows, hating the fact that his next words are a lie, “we’ll get him back.”

“And then what?” Tooru asks. He’s on near full breakdown mode. Takahiro and Issei are lucky that it isn’t _full_ breakdown mode. “If I can’t even protect Hajime, how can I protect everyone else?”

Takahiro feels the hair on his ears ruffle and he turns his gaze to Issei. Full breakdown isn’t too far away. He hopes the tent will hold if Tooru does lose the small amount of control he has.

“Hajime is strong, he’ll be able to survive on his own. He might even be able to escape on his own,” Issei tries.

“He’s right,” Takahiro adds, almost frantic. They need Tooru to calm down. “We don’t know what Hajime is capable of, maybe he’ll-”

He was interrupted by a loud rumbling followed by the ground itself shaking. He nearly fell. Only Issei at his side was enough to keep him on his feet.

“Tooru-”

“That’s not from me,” Tooru says, voice small and hesitant. “I don’t know what this is.”

“What do you mean?”

 

“It’s Hajime,” Takahiro thinks, apparently out loud. He hadn’t meant to say anything, but now he may as well continue. “I don’t know what’s happening to him, but obviously he’s upset. It might not entirely be him, but I think that it’s as good a guess as any.”

“But he can’t-” Issei starts, hesitating for a second before continuing, “do anything like this, can he?”

Takahiro looks at him curiously. Apparently he isn’t the only one with a secret. “We don’t know.”

“Takahiro’s right,” Tooru chimes in as the ground settles below them. He looks worn out and Takahiro wonders if he is the reason things are calm again. Tooru himself is calm again, well, away from the edge calm. Gods know that Tooru hasn’t been calm for a while. “We don’t know anything about what Hajime is capable of.” Issei chews on his lip - a clear sign that he wants to argue. “But I don’t think it’s him. I think it’s something a lot worse than that.”

“What-”

“I’ve been expecting it for a while. The forest has been well and truly thrown off balance. Neither of you have seen this scale of instability before. It sort of functions as a reset of power.”

“What does _that_ mean?” Issei asks. 

“Hajime and I should be weaker in the near future. There’s a way to fix that, but…” Tooru trails off. “I would have to leave you all alone and I don’t like that idea.”

“Can’t one of us come with you?”

Tooru shakes his head. “You won’t be able to make the full trip with me. I have to do this alone.”

Takahiro looked down. He knows what will happen if Tooru leaves. He doesn’t want that. He wants Tooru to get stronger, but if he isn’t with Tooru, he’s not useful. “You should,” he says, “If you can fix it, you should.”

“Takahiro-” His eyes flicker up guiltily to Issei’s face before he looks back to the ground.

“We can’t win without Tooru,” he says simply. “We need him in order to actually end this war favorably. If he needs to be gone for a while, so be it.”  
“I’ll leave after the meeting tomorrow,” Tooru says with such finality that Issei doesn’t argue. “I’m going to rest for now.”

Takahiro allows himself to smile a little. Finally. Tooru has needed rest since the war began. “I’ll join you in a little bit. I’m going to take a short walk.”

“You sure you want to give up this opportunity?” Tooru asks. Takahiro hesitates. He doesn’t want to. He wants to stay with Tooru and Issei and forget everything that’s happening. Tooru pulls Issei down to lay next to him. “It’s fine, I just get more alone time with Issei this way,” he says with a mischievous smile. 

Takahiro can’t help but smile back, glad that Tooru has officially been pulled away from breakdown mode. His smile fades as soon as he turns to face the door of the tent.

\--

“Have you noticed anything weird with Takahiro lately?”

Shigeru shrugs. “That’s more your line of expertise, isn’t it?”

Issei sighs. “I suppose, but I can’t really read him recently. I don’t know I guess I just want some sort of either confirmation or proof that I’m just making things up.”

“I haven’t noticed anything wrong with him. I mean obviously he’s stressed because of the war and Hajime, but other than that I don’t know.”

“Thanks anyway,” Issei says. He wasn’t really expecting much from this, but he thought that maybe someone else would have noticed.

“Maybe ask Akira. He’s pretty observant.”

“So are you,” Issei points out. 

“Not with other spirits, just surroundings. I’m still working on being able to read spirits as well as you or Takahiro can.”

Issei nods absentmindedly. “I’ll ask Akira, thanks.”

He had asked Kentarou and Shinji already, but neither of them had thought anything out of the ordinary or expected is happening. 

“Not very different,” Akira answers when Issei poses the question to him. “He goes for more walks, but other than that there isn’t a lot. Nothing weird.” 

Issei nods as he hears this. It isn’t the answer he wants, but it’s the only answer he’s getting. Hajime is the only one who shares this opinion with him, but Hajime is currently _gone_ and Issei can do nothing about it.

“You’re sure?” he asks, honestly - he’ll never admit it - he’s worried. He had thought about the possibility of a spy, but there is no way that it’s Takahiro. No way.

“If anyone, you’re acting differently,” Akira mutters. Issei stares at him until he continues. “You lied to Tooru for the first time ever and you don’t trust that Takahiro is just stressed from the war. Does that really sound like you?”

Issei pauses, thinking hard about Akira’s words. “I…” he trails off, realizing that Akira is _right_.

“I think it’s the war, but that might just be me.”

Issei sighs. “You’re probably right. I’m just worried.”

Something still feels wrong, though. He can’t shake the feeling that something is drastically, terribly wrong.

“Are you ready to go?” Takahiro asks, startling Issei hard enough that he jumps. “Nervous?” Takahiro teases.

“How could I not be?”

“That’s fair,” he responds, walking up behind Issei and latching onto his back. “But you’ve still got us.”

Issei smiles and puts a hand over Takahiro’s. “Of course.”

\--

Tooru is more nervous than he’s ever been. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but he can barely stand still.

“We’ll get him back,” Issei tells him with such conviction that Tooru almost believes him. Tooru can’t help but worry, though, that they actually did convince Hajime to join them. Of that they’ve somehow found the way to control Hajime’s magic. He knows that it’s possible. Just as it is possible for a guardian spirit to control the animal spirits’ magic, it is possible for the animal spirits to control the guardian spirits. If they’ve found out how to do that, he may as well give up completely now. It’s still possible to break free from that kind of control, both for him and for other spirits, but it takes a lot of work to learn how. It takes a lot of pain.

“I hope so,” he replies, though he’s not that optimistic at this point. He can’t feel Hajime’s magic at all, so if they have him in a separate location Tooru won’t be able to find him. “I really hope so.”

Issei doesn’t try to comfort him with touch, which Tooru is infinitely grateful for. He loves being close to Issei, maybe more so than anyone else, but sometimes it’s just too much and that isn’t what he needs. He loves that Issei knows this.

He isn’t ready for this meeting. Even if they don’t get Hajime back, he’ll still need to leave them all for a while. He doesn’t want to think about that. He hates that he has to leave. Even if the disturbance from last night was Hajime and not the balance, he still needs to check and he needs to do it alone. Technically, anyone can reach the place Tooru needs to go to. Not many can reach it unharmed, though. That’s how the boundaries work.

“Tooru?” He hums to show that he’s heard Issei. “What will we do if there’s an ambush?”

“There won’t be one,” he says with certainty. “They wouldn’t try it. There might be a direct attack, but we’ll see that coming. There won’t be an ambush.”

“You’re sure?”

When can anyone be sure of anything anymore. “I’m sure.”

\--

Issei can’t control his nerves. It’s really all he can do not to shake where he stands next to Takahiro. They stand just behind Tooru, but in front of the rest of their imitation of an army. 

He scans over the other army as discreetly as possible. He can’t see any trace of Hajime anywhere.

“Maybe they think we’ll try to take him before negotiations,” Takahiro murmurs, just quiet enough for Issei to hear. He stops looking.

The mask weighs heavy on his mind. He wants to tell Tooru and Takahiro, he really does, but for now it’s safer that they don’t know. He’s sure of it. He doesn’t know for sure - how could anyone - but he feels like Takahiro will try to order Hajime back to them and he knows it won’t end well. As for Tooru, well, he needs the deniability right now. He doesn’t know if it’ll happen, but if Tooru is asked if he knows the whereabouts of Hajime’s mask, he can honestly say no.

The mask won’t be found unless he’s killed. He has it hidden in a pocket of his magic. Unless he pulls it out, it will stay there until his magic doesn’t work any more. Until he dies. And he can’t be forced to pull it out. Technically Tooru could force him to, but Tooru can “technically” do a lot of things that he will never do.

“I wasn’t sure you’d show up,” an owl spirit spoke up, likely the leader of the other side, condescension evident in her voice. “Not with how bad you’re losing. Or maybe it’s because of that.”

“If you expect us to surrender or tremble in fear from your taunts, you’ll be severely disappointed,” Tooru responds calmly, not rising to the baid. “Remember that you were the one that called this meeting.

Issei narrows his eyes in displeasure. Called is a very loose term to describe this. It doesn’t really fit. It’s a ‘close enough’ kind of fit.

“I just thought that I’d give you a chance to bargain for your newest toy’s life.” She smiled. “After all, aren’t your other two getting a bit old and boring?”

“I regret to inform you once more that I not anyone else who follows me will be affected by your taunts.”

“I’m just telling the truth. Isn’t this the same as what happened with Tetsurou?”

Tetsurou?

“Where did you hear that name?” Tooru asks, dangerously quiet.

Who the hell is _Tetsurou_? A quick glance at Takahiro tells him that he’s thinking the same thing. _Who the hell is Tetsurou?_


	6. Chapter 6

Hajime is, for the most part, unaware of his surroundings. He hasn’t been given anything strange anymore. It’s always the same thing from what he can tell. He’s just kept drowsy and complacent.

He doesn’t really want to be drowsy and complacent anymore. There’s something he has to do, but he can’t really remember anymore. Someone’s talking near him about something being better and more effective than they imagined.

Hajime doesn’t care.

He just wants to remember what it is he’s forgotten. He knows he remembered yesterday. He knows it’s something he should remember. It’s just far easier to not.

He wants to run. Not necessarily run away, but move. He’s been sitting for so long. Hajime knows it hasn’t actually been that long - he figured out a little while ago that time had started running differently for him. He would go through a week in the time it took everyone else to go through a day.

“You seem distressed,” someone says to him.

“I want to run,” he replies, looking over at them. “I want to run and I’m forgetting something.”

“How do I know you won’t run away?”

“I just want to move,” Hajime whines.

“The last time we let you move you hurt people.”

Hajime frowns. That doesn’t sound like him. He shakes his head. “I want to get up.”

“I’m afraid we can’t let you do that.”

He shakes his head again. “I want to get up!”

The spirit talking to him curses. “Maybe we can-”

“I want to get up!” Hajime yells one last time and then he is up.

“I’m so fucked.”

Hajime looks down at the spirit who had been kneeling next to him. He briefly notes that the spirit isn’t wearing a mask before he runs. He doesn’t know where he’s going he only knows that it feels good to be moving again.

There are shouts behind him but he doesn't care. He knows he can outrun them. They might be trying to attack him, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t want them to be able to follow him. The ground splits beneath him and moves back quickly. Hajime doesn’t look back but he knows that the spirits following him have all fallen. Maybe it’s bad that he basically caused an earthquake. He still doesn’t really care.

He’s moving around again and that’s what matters.

\--

They don’t have Hajime. Tooru wasn’t sure before, but he knows it now. Hajime isn’t with them and the only reason he wouldn’t be is that they don’t have him. They might have _had_ him, but they don’t anymore. Which either means that Hajime has escaped or they’ve killed him.

Tooru hopes it’s the first option but he fears that the second is more likely.

Honestly, though, that isn’t the worst of his problems. The more pressing issue is how anyone found out about Tetsurou. He keeps what happened with him to himself. He hasn’t ever told Takahiro or Issei about it. And Tetsurou couldn’t have told anyone because Tetsurou is… well he can’t talk to anyone else.

“We have our ways of learning things,” the other leader responds with a shrug. “Spies and magic and things like that.”

He can feel the shock rolling off of everyone in his army, both from the revelation of Tetsurou and the fact that she would come out and say that so bluntly. Oikawa had already suspected spies, he just didn’t want to believe it.

“Regardless of how you got your information, it’s wrong. Tetsurou was not carelessly thrown aside, nor will I throw away _anyone_ that follows me.”

This meeting was a bad idea. Tooru should have listened to Issei. But how could he have known that it would end up like this? It’s going to look terrible when he has to leave immediately after.

“And how about those who don’t worship you like a god?” she challenges. “Will we just be killed in cold blood? We all know you’re capable of doing so. And we - well, those that follow me at least, your followers don’t seem to know anything about this - we know you’re even willing to kill those closest to you as Tetsurou once was.”

Tooru just barely manages to keep his temper under control. “Stop talking as though you know what you’re talking about. You’ll just take any situation and spin it to make me look evil.”

The other leader laughs. “I’m just telling everyone simple facts. Facts that everyone that follows you should know.”

Tooru grits his teeth. He won’t say anything. She doesn’t know the full story. She can’t. Plain and simple. He won’t rise to her taunts. “They are facts that are misinformed and some of them just plain aren’t true. Now was there a real reason for this meeting? Or shall I leave now?”

“I called this meeting to propose a deal. We’ll give you back who we stole if you surrender. Completely. Let’s face it. The longer we fight the higher the chance of an actual casualty.”

Tooru narrows his eyes. “I will not surrender.”

“Do you not value the lives of your followers?”

“I do and _that_ is why we fight. If your condition for getting back a spirit you _don’t have_ is complete surrender you will be met with nothing but disappointment.”

“That’s a bold assumption to make when you could be bartering for a life.”

“I know that he’s not here with you. Show me any proof that you have him first.”

“Gladly.” One of her followers steps forward and presents her with a mask. Hajime’s mask. “Will this be enough proof that we have him?”

Tooru stops breathing for a second. It _is_ Hajime’s mask. It looks just like it. Tooru would only be able to tell for sure by touching it, but he knows that isn’t possible. He hears Issei shifting behind him and turns to face him.

Issei dips his head in respect. “If I may?” Tooru nods. Issei steps forward and reaches into a pocket of his magic, hand disappearing into a glowing blue circle. He pulls out Hajime’s mask and hands it to Tooru. This is actually Hajime’s mask. Which means the other mask is a fake.

Tooru looks up at the other leader. She’s carefully concealing her surprise. He wouldn’t have known if he hadn’t been holding Hajime’s mask. “That will not be enough. I don’t believe you have him.”

She grits her teeth and Tooru is on edge. He doesn’t know how she’ll react, knowing that her plan has been foiled. “I’ve had enough of this,” she growls. “Attack!”

There doesn’t seem to be any attack coming from anywhere but the front. Tooru smiles. “Everyone hold your position.” It takes some focus before he can borrow a little from Hajime’s power in order to do what he’s about to - he shouldn’t and he knows it but he doesn’t want to risk anything here. He starts in the back, sending spirits one by one back to their camp, going quickly through it so that he could send himself back less than a second before he was hit.

\--

Hajime stumbles after a while of running. He doesn’t know where he is, but when has he ever. He stumbles again and decides to sit down before he falls down.

“Who are you?” someone asks him. Hajime looks up to see someone standing above him. “I’m Kuroo.”

Hajime rests his head on his knees. “Does it matter who I am?” Hajime asks. He’s been asked so often who he is, but he doesn’t understand why anymore.

“I’m just curious,” Kuroo says, sitting down next to him.

Hajime sighs, tipping over to lay on the ground. “Are you real?”

Kuroo smiles and ruffles his hair. “Depends on your definition of real.”

Hajime sighs again. “Am I only going to get cryptic answers out of you?”

“Are you ever going to answer my question?” Kuroo responds.

Hajime shrugs. “Maybe later. I don’t feel like thinking right now.”

“It takes effort to remember your own name?” Hajime nods, yawning. He hadn’t realized he was tired before now. Isn’t he not supposed to get tired? “Maybe you should rest a little,” Kuroo suggests.

Hajime shakes his head. “There’s something… something I have to do. Someone I need to find.” Hajime looks up at Kuroo. “Do you know where we are?”

Kuroo nods and continues playing with Hajime’s hair for a while before speaking again. “I know where we are but I can’t help you leave by walking out. The only way I could get you out of here is by killing you.”

Hajime’s eyes snap open. He hadn’t realized they’d closed while Kuroo played with his hair. “Are you going to?”

Kuroo hums as though he’s considering the idea. “Probably not. I wouldn’t gain anything from it so why bother.”

“So you would be willing to kill me?”

“If it would get me out of here, yes.”

“Where is here?”

“We’re in the heart of the forest,” Kuroo says simply, as though Hajime should know this. “The only way I can get out is if I become a true corporeal spirit again. And to do that I need a real mask again. I could take yours if I killed you and then maybe I could leave. But you don’t have a mask so it doesn’t pay to.”

“How can you kill me if you’re not corporeal? You feel pretty real to me.”

“I can feel that way to you only because you’re a guardian. I could kill you because I can still manipulate some magic.”

“Isn’t it…” Hajime trails off, unsure that what he’s about to say is actually correct. “Isn’t it possible for me to give you a corporeal form again? Because I’m a guardian?”

“I wish it were that easy. Tooru made sure that the only one that could _give_ me a body is Tooru himself. And in order to get one on my own, I need to kill someone.”

“Oh,” Hajime says quietly because he doesn’t know what to say.

“I suppose that’s my only option now, though. Seeing as Tooru must be dead and all.”

Hajime frowns. “Tooru’s not dead.”

“There can only be one guardian.”

“I know. But Tooru’s still alive and we’re both guardians. I don’t know why.”

“Interesting,” Kuroo hums, continuing to pet through Hajime’s hair. “Good to know.”


	7. Chapter 7

“You’re seriously still going to leave?” Issei asks.

Tooru sighs. “I don’t have much a choice. I need to go check on the heart of the forest. I can’t wait on this.”

“Can’t one of us come with you?” Takahiro pleads. “I could-” 

Tooru shakes his head. “It’s not safe. I’m almost certain you’ll be killed.”

“What about you?” Takahiro challenges. “Are you sure you’ll be fine without someone to back you up?”

Tooru runs his fingers through his hair. They won’t give up, will they? He supposes it’s a good thing that they’re so willing to protect him. “I’ll be fine. It’s much easier for me to move without being detected by them than it is for a whole army. And the… what’s in the heart of the forest… won’t kill me, but he’d kill either of you without hesitation.”

“There’s nothing we can do to stop you, is there?” Takahiro asks. Tooru shakes his head. “In that case, I think we deserve some sort of explanation before you go. Who’s Tetsurou and what happened with him?”

“It’s a long story,” Tooru replies, “and it’s hard for me to talk about. After I get back, I promise I will tell you.”

“Why can’t you tell us now? At least so we have _something_ to tell the others when they ask.”

“Taka-”

“He’s right, you know,” Issei adds quietly. Tooru looks over to him to see a familiar expression of determination on his face. He sighs, realizing that there’s no way he’s getting out of this now. Not with both of them asking. “Quit running away from this. We deserve an explanation.” 

Tooru stares at the ground. This isn’t how he wanted them to find out about Tetsurou. Honestly, in a perfect world they would never find out about Tetsurou. “You do,” he agrees. He knows that they had promised no secrets between them a long time ago, but this has been something he hasn’t discussed with anyone else for a good reason. “I just…”

A small part of him is hoping that one of them will stop him. Tell him it’s okay to wait until he gets back. Instead, they both give him their full attention.

“I was in love with Tetsurou, a long, _long_ time ago. He was more interested in,” Tooru bites his lip, hesitant to continue. It’s the truth, but there’s more to it than he could ever explain. “He was interested in magical theory. Specifically how to become stronger. We learned that it’s possible to use another spirit’s magic.”

“Didn’t you say that it’s not-”

“There is no way to use another spirit’s magic without hurting them. The more magic you use, the more it hurts the other spirit.” Tooru sighs and bites the side of his thumb - a bad habit he’d picked up so long ago that he can’t remember when. “I thought that it shouldn’t be developed or researched farther. Tetsurou argued that it should. We fought about it. He wouldn’t back down and he tried to steal my mask, so I had to… seal him away so that no one would get hurt.”

“Why didn’t you tell us before?” Issei asks. Takahiro nods in agreement, seconding the question.

“It was never relevant. And I honestly prefer not to think about it. I have no idea how this was found out. Not many know about Tetsurou in general, much less what happened to him.” Tooru closes his eyes. “I’m sorry I never told you. There’s more to the whole thing, of course, but it really will have to wait until I get back.”

Issei nods, but Takahiro still looks apprehensive. Tooru wishes he could do something to soothe both of their minds completely. He really does need to leave, though. If he waits much longer, who knows what might happen.

Maybe by going to the heart of the forest, he’ll be able to find a way to sense Hajime’s presence once more. 

\--

They’re under attack again. Issei is really fucking tired of being under attack. Especially in this area. The trees are close together and it’s hard to maneuver. It’s also hard to find anyone. He’s alone for the time being, at least as far as he can tell. Not that he’s complaining, necessarily. He’s in rough shape.

“Issei!” someone calls and he reflexively spins around ready to attack.

“Kentarou,” he sighs, relaxing slightly. “You surprised me. What’s going on?”

“We’ve beaten them back for now, but you… you need to see something.”

Issei narrows his eyes. It should be Takahiro or Shigeru telling him something like this. Not Kentarou. “What is it.”

“You need to see it,” Kentarou responds. There’s an urgency in his voice that takes any argument out of Issei’s mouth. “Come on.”

Issei follows him, almost hesitantly. He knows that while he’s acting leader in Tooru’s place, he shouldn’t show any hesitation whatsoever, but he can’t help it. Kentarou is acting weird. “Kentarou, what happened?” He’s met with silence and he wishes - not for the first time - that he could read other spirits as well as Tooru can. “What happened?” he repeats. This time he sees the slight sag of Kentarou’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” is the only response he’s given for a while. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t- I wasn’t- I wasn’t fast enough.”

“Kentarou, what do you-” Issei stepps into a small clearing with a little creek running though it. “Mean…” he finishes quietly.

Part of the creek - normally one of the clearest in the forest - is running gold. It starts directly after where Shigeru is laying in the water. He’s turned away from Issei, laying on his side, but it’s clear to see what’s happened.

“Shigeru…” Issei trails off. He steps forward slowly. Shigeru’s mask had fallen off at some point, likely after… after he had fallen. After he had died. He gingerly picks up the mask. “Kentarou,” he calls softly. He walks over to press the mask into Kentarou’s hands. “You should keep this.”

“That’s not all,” Kentarou says quietly. “Look in… in Shigeru’s hands.”

Issei has no idea how Kentarou is holding himself together right now. He’s not sure he’d be this composed if it were Tooru or-

“Takahiro?” he murmurs, picking up the pieces of Takahiro’s mask that Shigeru had been holding close to his chest. “Takahiro, no,” he whimpers. “No, no, no.”

It hasn’t settled in yet. He knows that it hasn't. He closes his eyes, trying to hold back the pang of loneliness. Hajime is gone. Tooru is gone. Takahiro is gone. He knows that the rest of the spirits in their army will soon surround him. And he will be all alone.

\--

Tooru’s steps falter just outside of the heart of the forest. He leans against a tree in order to catch his breath. It’s been a while since he’d felt anything this strong. Of course it has to be pain and loneliness and fear. From Issei.

He’s so tempted to turn back. Issei needs support right now. But Tooru can’t give it to him. Not like this. He can’t afford to turn back now. Not when he’s so close. He can go back soon if everything is alright. If it’s not, then he _needs_ to be here.

He forces himself to take the last few steps.

“Finally come to retrieve your little protégé?”

Tooru carefully reigns in his surprise at the sound of Tetsurou’s voice. It’s been a long time - probably too long if he’s honest with himself - since he’d been to this area. He prefers to stay well clear of it. “Protégé?”

“Of course! Your little guardian-to-be. Unless,” Tetsurou says, finally bringing himself into view and Tooru hates the almost knowing grin he’s got on his face, “he’s not the reason you’re here.”

“He’s here?”

“Are you really so out of touch with your subjects?” Tetsurou taunts. “Shouldn’t you know already?”

“He’s,” Tooru hesitates, realizing that he’s about to fall into one of Tetsurou’s mind games, “different.”

“Right, right,” Tetsurou nods. “Well, carry on with your normal business. I won’t bother you.”

“Where is he?” Tooru demands. If Tetsurou is telling the truth and Hajime is here, he needs to get him out. For Tooru, staying much longer than necessary makes him uneasy. It makes him see weird visions. Tetsurou smiles at him. Puts a finger up to his lips with a smile. Disappears. “Where is he Tetsurou!”

He closes his eyes tightly to ward off the image of some sort of human building before continuing on. If he doesn’t play along, hopefully Tetsurou will get bored and tell him where he’s stashed Hajime.

The trek through the heart seems fine. If anything were going to be affected by a shift in balance, it would be here. Everything looks fine, though. Sure, after he passes through a few areas, the grass grows greener and the flowers look more vibrant, but there’s nothing… wrong with anything.

“I’ve learned something from being here for so long.” 

Tetsurou’s presence is much less of a surprise than the last time. “What is that?”

“The heart is more alive than any other place in the forest. And it misses you when you leave it for so long.”

Tooru glances over towards him, certain Tetsurou would be watching him for a reaction. Instead, Tetsurou is looking around them with a measure of fondness. “Don’t tell me you’ve grown to like this area?”

“A beautiful prison is still a prison, Tooru. I’ve just made my peace with the fact that I’m never leaving. There’s plenty for me to study while I’m here. Like the little guardian spirit that walked in.”

Tetsurou disappears once more and Tooru knows this time that Tetsurou is telling the truth. He wouldn’t be teasing it so much if it were a lie. 

He nearly trips at his vision this time. The image lasts longer, still the same building. This time, though, he can see movement inside. The flickering light from a flame makes shadows dance inside the windows. Tooru closes his eyes. He’s seen this part before. He doesn’t need to see it again to know what happens.

He knows that if he opens his eyes, he’ll see flames overtake the windows and the door and trap the two humans inside.

In the past he would try to call out. He would try to tell them that they need to hurry. Whatever it is they’re trying to save could wait. Maybe it would survive, maybe it wouldn’t. At least the two humans would. Now, he just watches the vision play out in his mind, knowing there’s no way he’ll be able to stop it.

He hears a woman cry out his name and gasps as the vision ends. The name part is new. He shakes his head. It probably doesn’t mean anything. He continues on.

“What are you so afraid of?” Tetsurou asks. Tooru ignores him this time. Of anyone, Tetsurou should know him the best. He should know what Tooru is thinking and feeling. After spending so long in the heart, there’s no way that Tetsurou hasn’t figured out how to do that. 

“You say you’re open, but you close everything off.” Tetsurou moves to stand in front of him. “You’ve closed the heart off from other spirits, you’ve closed the forest off from the humans, you’ve closed yourself off from your own past, and that’s just the beginning.”

“I don’t close everything off.”

Tetsurou crosses his arms. “What would you call what’s happening with Takahiro, then?”

“I-”

“Do you even trust him?”

“Of course I do!”

“Do you care about him?”

“How could you even-” Tooru starts, infuriated.

“If you truly care about him, why haven’t you been paying attention to him?” Tetsurou shoots back. “You’ve been so concerned with yourself and things you think you need to do that you’ve ignored one of the few people you claim to care about.”

“I haven’t _ignored_ him.”

“Then how haven’t you noticed he’s been under someone else’s control for nearly the entire war?” Tetsurou spits and disappears once more.

Tooru stares blankly ahead. He knows he should be continuing on, the visions will only get more intense the longer he stays, but he can’t stop thinking about what Tetsurou said. He thinks of all the arguments Takahiro had gotten into. All of the times he had told Hajime to leave. All of the ambushes. The way Hajime had been taken from them. He should have realized.

Just how much of a failure could he possibly be?

He sinks down to the ground. This is another reason he hates the heart of the forest. He’s so much more emotional here.

His next vision is much more clear. Tooru sees the forest as it was when it was younger. There’s a young human running out of it. He wants to tell it to stop. He knows that it cares about the two from the previous vision. The kid does stop, but only once it sees the building up in flames. Another human runs to it and pulls it away from the fire.

After the fire, the kid is taken to a different building. It’s much bigger and has a lot of kids in it. Tooru has never been able to see the face of the kid, but he knows that it’s extremely unhappy in the new building. He watches as it’s dragged, kicking and screaming back into the building after running off to the forest.

Tooru is laying on the ground curled up when the vision ends. He feels tears leak out of his eyes and removes his mask to wipe them away. He should be leaving the heart by now, but he’s not done yet and Hajime is likely still here. He won’t leave without Hajime.

He pushes himself up and puts his mask back in place. The balance seems good enough if he can just find Hajime and leave without another vision. He has time to think about how much of a failure of a boyfriend he’s been to Takahiro later. Tooru can only take a few more steps before he’s hit with another vision.

This vision is new. He’s never stayed in the heart of the forest long enough to see any farther than the last vision.

He’s fairly certain it’s the same human as before, only a couple of years older. It’s stuck somewhere that feels unsettling to him, curled up on the cold, damp floor. Somewhere above them, light begins to pour down into this room.

“Are you ready to be sensible?” an older human asks, voice strict and uncaring. The human on the floor doesn’t move. Tooru wonders if it’s even breathing. “Quit being so dramatic.”

“It’s not breathing,” he tries to tell the older one. “You have to help it, it can’t breathe!”

“Get up,” it says, nudging at the younger human with its foot. The younger human rolls over onto its face. “Quit playing, honestly.”

“Let me go back,” the young one whimpers, pushing itself up onto its hands and knees. Tooru still can’t see its face. “Please, please, it hurts. I’m suffocating.”

“You’re exaggerating. You’ll stay here until you learn not to break the rules.”

“No, please!”

“Let it go! It’s hurting, can’t you see?” Tooru cries out. He knows that neither of them can see or hear him, but he still wants to try. 

“It hurts, I have to go back.”

“I’ll see if someone from the church will come over to look at you, but if this is all in your head, you’ll get a far worse punishment than this.”

“If I could just-”

“You won’t be leaving this basement until your punishment is over and you can start acting like you’re actually human again,” the older human growls.

“Yes ma’am,” the young one replies meekly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Tooru yells. “It’s hers!”

Tooru jolts out of the vision. He doesn’t want to be here any longer. He wants to leave. At this point he’s almost considering leaving Hajime here. Tetsurou won’t kill him. He shakes his head and pushes himself up once more - he’d fallen over when the vision hit - with as much determination as he can muster. He needs to find Hajime.

“You know-”

“Just tell me where he is, Tetsurou,” Tooru says quietly. He’s so tired. He’s exhausted. He wants to lay down and close his eyes and sleep forever.

“You have two more visions to go.”

“I don’t want-”

Tooru covers his ears at the sounds of screaming. He’s still in the basement with the human, the same one that’s been in all of his visions. This time two other humans - the old one from the last vision and one more dressed similarly - hold it down while it struggles and screams and cries.

“Let me go!”

“You really think he’s faking it?” a fourth human asks, stepping into the room. This one must be the one from the church. 

“He’s being over dramatic,” the old one says. “Just because we told him that he isn’t allowed to go in the forest anymore.”

“Anymore? What does that-”

“His parents used to let him play in the forest,” the third one explains calmly. “He’s been sneaking out to the forest ever since he came into our care.”

“Let me go, please, please, ple-” it’s cut off by a tremor working its way through its body. Its head lolls to the side.

The one from the church is the only one that seems even mildly alarmed by this. “I could try to fix this by attempting to cleanse him, but there’s a much easier answer. Listen to him. Let Tooru go back to the forest.”

Tooru shudders when the vision ends. “One more to go, Tooru,” Tetsurou tells him.

“I don’t want to see. Don’t make me-”

Tooru can finally see his own face. The three humans from the last vision carry him in the dead of the night. “The orphanage should be investigated because of this, you know,” the one from the church says.

“And then where would the children go?” the old one responds.

Tooru walks alongside of them, staring down at himself. At the unsteady rise and fall of his chest. At his pale face and trembling form. How could this have been him? He doesn’t remember any of this happening, but somehow he knows its true.

“You’re lucky he hasn’t died yet. I’m not sure how he’s still alive with how much the forest wants him back.”

“What do you mean?” the younger one asks.

“If you leave anything of value to you in the forest, it will call you back but not let you leave easily.”

“Everyone knows that.”

“Tooru’s heart belongs to the forest. It has for a while now. The forest wants him back.”

Tooru watches his chest stop moving. He knows that they’ll make it in time for him to become a spirit. Obviously they have to if he’s here now. He can’t help the panic that he feels, though. They need to walk faster. 

When they reach the forest, there’s no care to the way they leave Tooru just inside the border and leave. None of them look back to see if Tooru is going to live.

Tooru was alone when he turned into a spirit.

He knows it was painful for Hajime to experience, but this looks worse. There’s no control to how the vines leave his body. They nearly kill him, tear him apart. He suspects it’s the forest itself that heals him before the vines secure themselves to him. The last thing that happens is the mask appearing in his lap.

And Tooru is back in the heart of the forest once more.

Tetsurou helps him stand and even allows Tooru to lean most of his weight onto him. “I can take you to Hajime now.”

Tooru doesn’t have the energy to answer. He is both physically and emotionally exhausted.

“Did you want me to carry you?”

Tooru shakes his head. He can walk on his own. Tetsurou picks him up. “I used to be human,” Tooru says and he swears he was going to argue that he can walk by himself. “Did you know?”

“Poke and prod around here for long enough and you learn a few things,” Tetsurou responds. “Hajime’s had the visions, too, just so you know. You can sleep, by the way. It’ll be a bit before we reach him.”

Tooru nods, only wondering why Tetsurou is being so nice for a second before he’s asleep. When he wakes up, he’s in front of the house from his first vision. The one that had gone up in flames.

“He’s in there.”

“Why-”

“Do me a favor and stop pushing everything away from yourself when you’re stressed. You have people willing to help you. Let them.” And with that, Tetsurou disappears. Tooru takes a deep breath before opening the door to the house. He finds Hajime asleep in the middle of the floor.

“Hajime,” Tooru calls softly, resting his hand on Hajime’s forehead.

Hajime blearily blinks his eyes open. “Tooru?”

Tooru nearly collapses onto Hajime, pulling him into a hug. “I’ve missed you.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been a while, huh

Tooru doesn’t ever want to let Hajime go. He wants to keep him here, away from the war, away from the other spirits, away from the pain. Of course, he knows he can’t.

“How long… how long has it been?” Hajime asks, sitting up once Tooru releases him. 

“Not very long, only five days, really. It’s still been too long, I’ve been worried about you.”

Hajime looks around them, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “Where… what happened?”

Tooru frowns. Amnesia among spirits really wasn’t common unless something extremely serious had happened, something like being taken control of. He knew that Hajime hadn’t been, Issei still has his mask and has since the day Hajime went missing, but still. “What do you last remember?”

Hajime brings a hand up to his head, running his fingers through his hair. “I… Takahiro and I… we went to go talk about… something? I don’t… I don’t remember. We were attacked I think. Taka told me to run and I did, but…” Hajime trails off with a growl, pulling at his hair in frustration. “I don’t know it’s all… muddled after that. There’s some weird things and I don’t know if they really happened. I think they gave me something? Like some sort of drink? I don’t know, I almost remember it, but I don’t. The next thing I really remember is meeting Kuroo.”

Tooru sighs. He wishes that he knows some way to help Hajime with his memory, but apparently he couldn’t even manage to remember parts of his _own_ life. “I’m sorry, I should have-”

“It’s not your fault, it’s probably because I don’t know how to fight,” Hajime interrupts him.

“And who should have taught you?” Tooru asks in response before shaking his head. Now isn’t the time for that. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re okay. I can teach you more about how to fight later, alright?”

Hajime nods, but Tooru can tell he isn’t going to completely drop the topic. “What happened to me?”

“You were taken captive, but somehow you must have freed yourself. I came here to make sure everything was still balanced after an earthquake, but it seems to be fine. Which means…” Tooru trails off as he realizes that the earthquake _must_ have been caused by Hajime. Somehow. Even though he didn’t have his mask and shouldn’t have been able to use magic. 

Hajime tilts his head to the side. “What does it mean?”

“As a guardian, I can cause earthquakes,” Tooru explains slowly, hesitantly, “but this one wasn’t from me.”

“You mean… I did that? I caused an earthquake?” Hajime’s voice is shaky when he speaks, disbelieving. Tooru didn’t really have anything to compare to because until recently, he’d never really remembered a time when he couldn’t use magic to that scale. He nods and regrets mentioning anything to Hajime when he retreats into himself. “I didn’t… I didn’t hurt anyone, did I?” Hajime asks quietly.

“As far as I know, everyone is fine. You can check everyone over when we get back, okay?” Tooru says softly, cupping Hajime’s cheek in his hand. “I’m sure they’ll all be happy to see you and then we can go and win this war, alright?”

Hajime is silent, curling into himself. Tooru bites his lip, unsure as to why Hajime is hesitating so much. Before he’d been captured, he would have jumped at the chance to help win the war or at least check for himself to make sure everyone is okay. He knows that being held captive could’ve changed Hajime, but it was only five days. What could’ve happened in those five days? “What’s wrong?”

“Maybe… maybe Takahiro was right. I should’ve left. I’m just… I’m just a burden to you,” Hajime mutters. “Even if I didn’t hurt anyone, I still made you leave everyone else on their own just to come find me.”

“Takahiro… Takahiro only said that because he’s been under the control of the other side this whole time. And I… I should’ve been a better leader. I should’ve realized it earlier.”

“But-”

“Hajime,” Tooru says, tilting Hajime’s face up so that he has to look him in the eyes, “You are not a burden. You’re already a better, a _faster_ healer than me. Just because you don’t know how to fight yet doesn’t mean that you’re a burden.”

Hajime sighs and Tooru _knows_ he wants to argue, but he relents. “I just… I don’t know. I want to help, but…”

“Takahiro got in your head, but Hajime, he wasn’t… he wasn’t himself.”

At least, that’s what he hopes. Maybe it was an order to make Hajime feel like this, like he should leave. Like he’s worthless to them. It had to have been. Tooru doesn’t know exactly when Takahiro had been… ambushed or something similar, but he knows that Takahiro cares for Hajime. At least he did at the beginning. He wouldn’t have done anything like this. He wouldn’t have hurt Hajime like this.

“I… I know.”

“I can take you to the edge of the forest if that’s really what you want,” Tooru says, biting his lip, “but… I really hope you choose to come with me.”

Hajime hesitates for a second and Tooru is honestly scared that he’ll stick to his belief that he’s just a burden to them, but… he nods. “I’ll go back with you. Can you… You’ll teach me how to help out more, right?”

Tooru sighs in relief, hugging Hajime tightly and holding him close. “Of course I can.”

\--

Issei is panicking again. Really, he’d never _stopped_ panicking since Takahiro and Shigeru had died. He hopes that Tooru will get back soon, or that maybe somehow they’ll find Hajime, wherever he is. 

Everything is too much for him. He needs- he needs Tooru or Takahiro or _someone_. He doesn’t know how to lead the other spirits. He doesn’t know how Tooru had come up with any of the strategies. So far, he feels like he’s just a poor imitation of Tooru. He’s worried that someone else might die and it’ll be his fault. All his fault.

He’s already gotten two people killed.

He’s so alone. He has no clue how Tooru has managed for so long.

“Issei.”

He sighs, not quite ready to face anyone yet, but he hasn’t been ready for most of the things that have been thrown at him during the war.

“Yes Shinji?”

Shinji sits down next to him. He wouldn’t have done that if it were Tooru. Is it because- “We should move somewhere else soon. Tooru will be able to find us.”

“And Hajime?” Issei asks, perhaps a tad too quickly. He knows that Tooru could find them anywhere, but Hajime, if he’s alone… 

“Issei, I want to find him just as much as anyone else does, but we can’t… we can’t stay here. He’ll probably be able to find us just like Tooru can. It’s a guardian spirit thing, right?” Shinji tries to reassure him. “I’m sure we’ll see him again soon, but we won’t be… we won’t be alive for him to find if we don’t move. The other spirits know we’re here and they’ll… who knows what they’ll do.”

Issei sighs once more, curling his arms around himself tightly. He doesn’t know if Hajime is capable of using that part of his magic yet, doesn’t know if he can do anything but heal at this point. Tooru himself had said that they have no idea what Hajime is capable of. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to find his way back to them. But… Shinji is right. “We’ll give it until tomorrow, alright? Can you let everyone know?”

Shinji nods. “Do you need anything else?”

Grateful beyond belief for Shinji, Issei still shakes his head to the question. Even if he could articulate what he needs, he wouldn’t. He thinks maybe he understands a bit more of why Tooru acted like he did. “I don’t, but… thank you.”

“Let me know if you do need anything. I know you must be putting on a brave face, but I’m here for you.”

Issei nods as he watches Shinji actually be able to approach Kentarou without getting threatened in some way. Even before Shigeru had died Kentarou was abrasive. Now, though, almost no one could even get near him. And it’s all Issei’s fault.

\--

Hajime’s feeling some sort of pull, away from where Tooru is leading them. He’s not sure _where_ he feels like he needs to go, but it’s in the opposite direction that they’re going. He doesn’t want to tell Tooru though and, if he’s being honest, he doesn’t really trust whatever instinct this is. 

The last time he felt something like this, it led him into the forest. He doesn’t regret it, not really, but he does miss his parents. He misses his friends. He misses sleeping in a bed. He misses not being fearful for his life. He misses his normal.

He almost feels bad about it though.

He’d seen what Tooru had gone through. He knows that the forest was a good thing for Tooru. It was where he felt safe when everything in his life was crumbling down around him. In a way, the forest was like that for Hajime, but only for the one day. And he… he had something to go back to. He still does have something to go back to.

No matter what Tooru says, he still thinks that Takahiro may have had a point. Even if he was being controlled. Even if the words may not have been his own. He still had a point.

Hajime doesn’t really belong here. Not like Tooru or Takahiro or Issei or anyone else does. His house… his _old_ house isn’t even close to the forest. He shouldn’t be here. He’ll just get in the way. Even if he can heal. Even if Tooru is willing to teach him how to control his magic. He still doesn’t want to hurt anyone. 

If he didn’t think that Tooru would just be wasting precious time leading him to the edge of the forest, he might have left by now. As it is, he can’t find his way out on his own, so hopefully with Tooru teaching him more about how to control his magic, he’ll learn how to navigate the forest by himself. He needs his mask back first though and he doesn’t know where it is.

“You’re being awfully quiet,” Tooru remarks.

“Thought we were still at war and there were still enemies in the forest,” he murmurs in response. It’s not why he was quiet, but it’s a good enough reason. He rubs absentmindedly at his chest, trying to get the tugging sensation to go away. As soon as he catches himself, he stops, but he does wrap his arms around his chest in order to fight the slight chill of the air. He must’ve lost the cape thing that Tooru had given him when he was captured. 

Tooru hums in response, looking back at him. “I guess, but they’re likely more concerned with our actual army than you and I.”

“Why’d they go through all the trouble of capturing me if they aren’t concerned with me?”

“They won’t know where to find us for starters. And they probably thought they could use you. Pit you against me.”

A flash of a memory appears in Hajime’s mind and he grasps his forehead with one hand, leaving the other wrapped tightly around his torso. “That doesn’t- they- they-” 

Whatever memory it was, it’s gone now, but Hajime is left feeling dizzy and weary. The tugging sensation is stronger than ever. He wishes he knew where he’s being pulled to. 

“Hajime? What’s wrong?” Tooru asks, but his voice sounds distorted and strange.

Hajime shakes his head, not sure of what’s happening to him and, even if he were, he wouldn’t be able to find the words to tell Tooru about it. He stumbles back until he hits a tree, finding comfort in the fact that now there’s something solid behind him. 

“Hajime, talk to me, please.”

He wishes he could, but he can’t and he’s scared and he’s confused and he’s shaking and he needs to go to wherever he’s being pulled and he wants to go home and he can’t and he-

“Hajime!”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr [here](https://theprettysettersclub.tumblr.com), [here](https://nightshade002.tumblr.com), [here (with friends)](https://thewritersquad.tumblr.com), and [here (it's new)](https://ask-tooru.tumblr.com)


End file.
